An ancient Chinese proverb says:
“The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their ‘correct’ name!”
At first glance this proverb may seem to have no significance in our modern technological world, or may even be at odds with your personal journey of spiritual self-development, but the meaning behind this proverb is in fact profoundly relevant to your life today.
As part of my personal therapy and coaching sessions here at Peak House Practice in Derbyshire, I regularly spend time with clients identifying and exploring how the words and phrases they use in personal ‘self-talk’ can significantly impact their emotional health and wellbeing. Self-talk on issues such as their emotional feelings or their analysis of themselves and their lives, often goes unchecked without any ‘quality control’ as to the truth, meaning or underlying negative connotations of this narrative.
In my experience, words and phrases commonly used in self-talk can be both an incorrect and inappropriate description of the energy being experienced, yet paradoxically these words and phrases can actually increase the intensity of the feelings as they ‘re-infect’ and aggravate the original emotions. Inappropriate self-talk can also be very easily highjacked by an ‘out of balance’ Ego mind on its misguided but well-meaning quest of avoiding and protecting you from emotional discomfort and pain.
So be mindful to observe and understand the energetic value of the words and phrases you use, particularly when describing yourself or your emotional feelings. These have a powerful effect on the direction of your Universal flow, your self-worth and the vibration of your Qi. Remember that the underlying nature of this flow should always be towards harmonious oneness, not separation and isolation.
I am grateful for the scientific research done on this subject and would recommend you to consider the work of Dr. Masaru Emoto of Yokohama Municipal University, Japan. In his highly acclaimed book “The Hidden Messages in Water”, Dr Emoto completed an acclaimed experiment where water crystals were visibly altered by the words that were directed towards them. Words such as “love”, “peace” and “happiness” had a beneficial harmonising effect on the water crystals, whilst words and phrases such as “hate”, “I despise you”, “you make me sick” would had a detrimental and dis-harmonising effect.
In my professional experience I regularly observe clients inadvertently using inappropriate and emotive words to describe their ‘natural’ emotional feelings. These feelings can arise in a current situation and can also be an emotional legacy from a previous situation. These feelings can often be a valid and understandable reaction but, without imposing the self-discipline and mindfulness required to keep your self-talk in check and to allow the time and space for your emotions to naturally calm and rebalance, the Ego whips up a bigger emotional storm and the potential ‘Universal lesson’ presented by the situation is never grasped.
Be particularly mindful when using words and phrases beginning with “I am…” or “I Feel…”, such as: “I don’t feel good enough”, “I am unlovable”, “I feel like I can’t cope”, “I am weak”, “I feel guilty”, “I am stupid”, “I feel rejected”, or many of the thousands of other words and phrases of the same ilk. These types of words and phrases are not an accurate or a helpful description of the emotional feelings you are encountering; they negatively alter your perception and are contradictory to your Tao nature and their continued use has a confusing and detrimental effect on your authentic self-worth and authentic potential.
The misunderstanding can be simply resolved by the realisation that the words and phrases you use are actually a description of the intensity of the immensely powerful emotional feelings you are experiencing rather than an accurate or true reflection of your authentic self. Over many years the continued misuse these words and phrases can however slip into your subconscious mind, similar to a powerful hypnotic suggestion, and become subconsciously ‘owned’ by you so that you come to believe it to be a reflection of your nature!
One exercise I find helpful when working with my clients on these issues, particularly when they have become subconsciously habitual, is to ask them to be mindful when they use a statements that includes “I am“ or “I feel“. Why you find yourself describing an emotional feeling, situation or lesson you are encountering ask yourself: “Would you say this to a child?” If the answer is “No!” what then would you say to support and help that child through the situation or lesson? Go through this questioning technique and you will quickly understand how harmful self-talk can be but also why it seems easier to avoid and chastise yourself instead of addressing the challenging situation!
In future blogs I will explore this concept more fully, particularly as root issues or situations are always represented to us over time, until mastered. For now, particularly in your self-talk be mindful that the words and phrases that you are using are ‘correct’ and an accurate reflection of the situation you are encountering. Endeavour to look past the emotional feelings and misleading emotional statements to address the root or core issue and the ’lesson’ being offered.
Make a pact with your authentic, higher self to identify and reject any words and phrases of avoidance, separateness and isolation, and instead be true to your wonderful Tao nature.
