‘Windows of opportunity’.

A client once explained to me her ‘windows of opportunity’ philosophy which I will summarise here:

During our life we are presented with a number of ‘windows of opportunity’. We should be aware of, and take advantage of these ‘windows’, when they appear because they are a chance to focus 100% on an opportunity to change our life or move onto another level of understanding.

I understand my client’s observations; we all have had that wonderful feeling of everything ‘dropping’ into place and working out really well or when we feel like we have a gained an unexpected new insight and, as a result, things are never the same again.

I also absolutely agree that, what we positively focus on, will respond to the stimulation and will expand, grow and becomes stronger – similar to nurturing a plant.

I don’t however concur that these ‘windows’ only appear a number of times during our lives; instead I believe that life is a constant flow of ‘windows’, love, opportunity and openness!

What opportunities are presented to us?

The ‘windows’ my client referred to are the times when we have been able to change our personal model/view/perception (if only for a few moments) and confront our fears, either by positive, intentional choice, or because we are ‘forced’ into it by extraordinary circumstances.

Confronting and moving through the feeling of fear (FOF) will give us the relief, release and freedom that accompany stepping through the FOF, and we will gain a new learning or understanding. I believe this is the opportunity my client has experienced and is referring to.

That wonderful feeling of new learning, relief, freedom and opportunity is always there waiting to be explored, experienced and enjoyed by us all.

It’s a win, win situation. You only have to confront and move through the feeling!

I believe that the great learning in this type of situation is not to focus on FOF, allowing it to become more than just a feeling by seeing it as something that should be avoided, discouraged and negatively responded too. If you do this your view/misunderstanding will respond to the stimulation, and the feeling of fear grows stronger and more powerful.

Your view and new understanding of that physical feeling that we have labelled ‘fear’ should, on these occasions be re-labelled to: ‘Learning’.

So the ‘feeling of fear’ should, in fact be renamed the ‘feeling of learning’.

Then when you focus on that feeling from a learning viewpoint, the feeling will respond to the stimulation differently and then that ‘learning’ will grow stronger and more powerful.

Now you can look on the situation as a great opportunity of self development, to grow, move, and explore new exciting levels of personal and Universal understanding.

If you refocus or change you perspective and see that feeling as a great opportunity to explore the exciting unknown, so it becomes known and familiar, then not fearful at all.

We can only have that ‘feeling of fear/learning’ when you do not understand or the situation is unknown to you.

A positive side effect of this process of learning then understanding is we also increase our choices.

It is a misunderstanding to believe we make bad choices.

No one (to my knowledge) has ever sat down and consciously and made a bad choice, we always make the right choice but only with the information and choices we have available, or we have crated at that moment.

Increase your knowledge by increasing your learning which increases your choices; your percentage of ‘better/correct’ choices will automatically improve.

Another win, win situation!

As your correct life choices improve, your confidence and trust in yourself improves you being to open yourself up and become aware of your authentic potential. Remember what you focus on expands, grows and improves. So this becomes a positive circle.

Remember if you have been focusing on negativity and the Ego circle, you have been ‘feeding’ that feeling of fear which has been growing as a response to the focus and the block has growing stronger the more you focus on it.

You, in fact have been cultivating your fears and negativity by your focus. I always remind my client: The only relationship you will have for the whole of your life is with yourself, you are the ‘expert’ on YOU! Start making better choices for yourself, increase your information and knowledge by going through that feeling and learn!

It is not your choices that have been wrong; it is the restriction in the amount/variety of choice you are giving yourself.

Consider:

Have your choices been restricted by avoiding what you consider to be fear in a misunderstanding of learning.

What do you focus on the most?

How much of your time is spent on the feeling of fear, and trying to avoid that feeling?

How does it feel to change the idea of ‘fear’ into an opportunity for ‘learning’?

Have you ever purposely made a bad choice?

What do you think would happen if you increased your life choices?

Do you believe the Universe is built on fear or love and opportunity?

Have you ever gone through the feeling of fear (FOF), what was the feeling like AFTERWARDS?

Comparing Yourself

Comparing yourself is an imbalance within the ‘inspirational’ box, See ‘The Model’ at the top of the page, (for further reference also read the ‘Measuring stick’ August blog)

It is a very common, confusing, complicated and potentially destructive Ego imbalanced thought process.

One of the most difficult to understand, explain and accept. Because it becomes perverse!

It also leads you into the ‘perfect’ perverse Ego circle, which proves difficult to escape from because of the subtle nature of the imbalance. It is a very ‘destroying’ thought process, very difficult to change because it has its roots in a very positive core belief statement.

Everyone’s thinking is, of course unique, but the general progression of thought goes something like this:

‘It is good to stretch yourself, being inspired by others is a positive; it helps you improve, stretch, reach your true authentic potential and be the best that you can be, that must be good’!

That IS a good authentic balanced statement!

Unfortunately that positive authentic thought subtly ’swings’ it out of balance, then the misunderstanding Ego thinking and self talk goes something like this;

‘It’s good to stretch to your maximum and maybe even beyond, but because I ‘doubt myself’ I am unsure of my own limits and capabilities, so it would be beneficial to chose someone with an attribute I admire and aspire too, then compare, copy, do better, eventually ‘beat’ them! So I become the ‘Best’! ‘

‘Then I will also be admired and loved by others, in the same way I admire and have aspirations towards the person I am copying and comparing myself against’.

This Ego thinking is wrong and gives you problems on several levels; you are judgemental on others from your limited perception, just looking at one attribute, not the whole person. You cannot appreciate the uniqueness of their lives, only focusing on the characteristic you are trying to emulate.

This is flawed, unbalanced thinking.

The subtleness of this imbalanced Ego thinking becomes complicated and confusing, because it can be beneficial for you to be inspired by the achievements of others, to observe how they obtained those achievements, but then consider how you can learn from, and adapt their techniques to help you in your unique endeavours and life journey.

A balanced authentic statement for instance, could be; ‘If one person can do something, anyone can!’

To complicate and confuse the Ego thinking even more, if you achieve or even get close to your Ego target of comparing, you then go on to consider your sights were set to low and you immediately chose someone or something else to copy and compare.

Unfortunately this becomes a bad habit or game; ‘moving the goal posts’, every time you get close to achieving your goal, you move the ‘finishing line’ back.

‘Experts’ at this Ego imbalance ‘game’ can make it even more complicated by; choosing a confusing amount of people they are comparing and copying, the absolute extreme is to invent imaginary comparisons that they we never beat!

So the outcome is you are never satisfied or content, because you are to busy looking round for someone ‘better’ to compare yourself with, constantly looking over your shoulder for more information, comparison and positive affirmations (positive strokes).

Never feeling happy or content; never stopping to take stock of your own personal achievements, or use your own authentic rational thinking to make an authentic judgement about yourself or your personal performance on how to be the best that you can be.

The beginnings of this unbalanced Ego thinking is in the root box of ‘being special’ which then affects the misunderstanding box of ‘
Personal responsibility’ then affects several of the imbalance boxes, so I will chose a couple as an example.

The main Imbalance boxes affected are:

‘Inspirational’

‘Being the best’

This is how the boxes swing out of balance:
 

     Ego……………………… Authentic………………….Ego

Comparing                               Inspirational                        Despondent

‘Being the best in the world’    ’Being the best you can be’  ‘Everyone else is better’

The centre, authentic way is rational, balanced thinking, then it can swing either way into Ego thinking. Please refer to ‘The Model’ at the top of the page to understand how this all fits together in a holistic/eco life system of action, reaction and interaction.

Consider: 

Do you compare yourself with others?  

What measurement do you use for the comparison?

Has this action ever made you feel satisfied and happy?

Do you think comparing has ever benefited you?

How much time do you spend in comparing thought, instead of inspirational thought?

Does comparing improve your sense of worth?

What would it take to move you back into balance?

Can you give yourself an inspirational thought right now?