You are currently browsing the monthly archive for July, 2008.
It is important to acknowledge and understand that, although it sometimes it feels like it, the Ego is not your enemy.
It is more like a misguided friend or a naughty child who has lost faith and confidence in you, your Authentic Self and the Universe. It truly believes that it is working on what is the best for its own self interest and secondly, you.
The Ego’s nature is brash, bullying, scheming and self effacing, full of its own importance. Or the direct opposite; withdrawing self destructive, open for abuse, very fearful, short-sighted, untrusting, stubborn, unadventurous, narrow-minded and one-dimensional. It can also swing violently between the two..
To ensure its (perceived) survival and increased strength the Ego has to convince you that it knows better, has your best interests at heart, and that your Authentic Self and the Universe are somehow foolish, deficient, weak, not to be trusted and will let you down. It uses all of the ‘inferior’ emotions it has at its disposal to convince you to doubt yourself, the Universe and the idea of balance and the Tao.
The Ego has been in place even before your birth, in the form of aspects of your parents’ Egos which have been unintentionally passed to you. Almost like a spiritual/emotional gene, it has been ‘inherited‘ in some way.
Even whilst growing inside the womb your mother fears and doubts where being transmitted and received. Then, in your formative years, the Ego has the opportunity to root and empower itself, as many non-authentic teachings and experiences caused you to doubt or fear. It therefore is able to create and promote the internal disharmony and contradiction which it needs to gain strength.
The Ego cannot perceive that its actions are not in the best interest. As it is in opposition to balance and does not trust your authentic self, it perceives that it knows better, and so is working in the best interests.
The Ego is introverted and introspective and limited, it does not have the ability to comprehend or understand the bigger or universal picture. But what the Ego does understand is every part of you and your thinking. It has stored away every negative action, memory, thought and feeling that it has convinced you to hold onto and make a judgement on over they years – almost like squirrel stores away nuts for the winter when they are needed the most!
The Ego can delve deep into this subconscious store to use your internal fodder, the memories, thoughts and feelings that have long since been forgotten by your conscious mind, for its own purposes. It can place you emotionally back into the time and place of the memory, so you experience the exact same immature feelings and thoughts most vividly. It can be almost like that incident, feeling or situation has been frozen in time and you are in exactly the same position you were then, with exactly the same thoughts, feelings and life skills, basically unable to cope.
The Ego can then it remind you, in its friendly, reassuring way (or what ever way suitable to gain your attention and compliance), “see, you could not cope then, so you will not be able cope now”….. “There is only me here for you, don’t trust anyone else”….. “I told you that you could not trust anyone, they are all out to get you”….. “That proves what a bad person you are” etc.
This is done in a subtle, manipulative way and it has been done so often, and so quickly (a blink of the eye) that you believe it to be true, or in some cases you believe the Ego to be your Authentic Self.
Alas, the deception is complete!
You do not know of another way to deal with that situation, so you feel stuck, trapped, in that immature place, and you’ll hear yourself saying things like “I don’t know why I do this / think this…” “I don’t know the answer / solution” …”this is hopeless! “etc.
Nothing could be further form the truth in fact! This reaction is usually because the method or strategy you have used in the past has not worked – your Authentic Self really knows this. But the Ego will tell you that there is no other way, you are trapped!
Then, almost like an animal that is trapped, you can in some cases strike out, at others, but sometimes at yourself. Remember, the Ego will use any and all methods at its disposal, so if you are fearful, it will use fear. Angry – anger. Analytical – it will use logic, etc.
The Ego has the ability to morph into any form, striking at your ‘Achilles heel’ it knows so well (because it developed it) to gain strength and remain powerful. In this sense the Ego is judgmental, scheming, subtle, spiteful, persuading, adaptable and durable.
It is extremely important to understand that it is NOT your Authentic Self and nor can it destroy your true Authentic Self. The Ego does want you to misunderstand, distrust or even forget your Authentic Self.
The use of words can be one of the ways the Ego will manifest itself. I am constantly surprised how highly intelligent people talk negatively about themselves and self talk themselves into the negative Ego circle.
They would not let or like anyone else to talk about them in the same way, but seem to allow this self deprecation to flow without question or thought.
When I point it out to them it is usually greeted with a smile and joke or a hostile defence. (The Ego swinging).
I sometimes ask if they would talk about their childern like that ? So why do they think it is acceptable to talk about themselves in that way?
But when I hear the word BUT I always think, “forget what just been said, this is what they really think!”
One of the techniques I use is what I call ‘Beat the But’. So this is how it works;
The negative sentence construction is normally set up as follows.
A positive statement followed by a negative statement, such as;
I know what is the correct course of action in this situation….. BUT ……. I don’t think I have the strength to do it.
The negative part of that sentence blocks any progress and leads directly into the Ego circle.
If you reverse the construction to read; Negative followed by a positive statement. So the sentence would then read;
I don’t think I have the strength to do it …… BUT …. I know what the correct course of action in this situation.
That leads you out of the Ego circle and gives you hope and a positive feeling that you can solve the current situation.
Try it yourself; you will be amazed how many times during the day you have to ‘Beat the But’.
So the Ego always acts as that counter force against your true Authentic Self.
For example, if your adolescence growth and development was in an abusive home, your Ego has greater opportunity to gain strength. By perhaps convincing your immure mind that you are in some way to blame, or it is because you are worthless or unimportant.
It has many and varied ways to manifest itself and will always strike at your weakest link, which of course it knows only to well, because the Ego is an essential part of you.
The Ego’s strength can also bolstered by less obvious means, such as lack of parental support or love; feelings of abandonment; lack of support at difficult times in adolescence; parental divorce; bullying; keeping up with your peers; trying to please your parents…or quite simply, poor parental authentic teaching skills and knowledge.
This is in no way a criticism of your parents, or their love and feelings towards you.
They, like you, are not perfect, and have their own Ego’s and balances to deal with.
They did their best with the knowledge and skills they had available to them at that time. Sometimes all of our parenting skills may leave a little to be desired, that does not make us bad parents or people.
We are certainly not trying to harm or disadvantage our children or their future. We may be caught up in our own Ego, or it may be that we just continuing the line of poor teaching and understanding of the Universe. Therefore we do not comprehend the magnitude of our actions and words.
Of course the society we live in also has to adhere to the same rules and Universal truth, and therefore is also in a balancing situation. We can all recognise the Egotism of our own society and nations and how it can swing in and out of balance.
In fact the causes of the strength of our Ego can seem infinitely varied and endless – in the same way that authentic possibilities and opportunities are!
Remember do not get disheartened, the coin always has two sides, sometimes the deeper in depression we are the closer to a universal understanding we are.
The Ego will try to convince us to interpret and judge various situations that happen in our lives as negative and harmful, or a personal attack that we must somehow protect ourselves against. This is totally untrue and yet another one of the Ego many illusions.
These events normally start in our early childhood or adolescence when we are just developing our personality, knowledge, and understanding of the Universe and our own true Authentic Selves. We act understandably in a very immature and childish way, working out poor coping and defence strategies, which are normally based around our immature; fears, vulnerability, withdrawal, self-blame or harm.
Of course these situations could have been avoided or been better dealt with. If we could have sat down calmly and rationally with our parents for instance, and asked them in a balanced loving and intelligent manner why they acted or spoke in the way they did. Yes, I can see the wry smile on your face – just imagine doing that! Of course this would not have been feasible! But even if these enlightening tasks were possible, they undoubtedly would have elicited a response from our parents Ego which would have been impossible for us to deal with.
Because at that time we did not have the appropriate intellect, emotional growth or understanding to perform such a task or deal with their Ego response.
The Ego therefore operates in opposition or counter balance to our authentic self, which enables us to become balanced and therefore whole.
You could say the secret or meaning of life is to maintain this unique balance.
Perhaps the best way to think about these self awareness situations is by considering the concept of ‘appropriateness’.
Do not misunderstand the softer more yielding qualities of the appropriateness of balance and harmony as being deficient.
Taoists compare the Authentic Self to the force and power of water. Water has softness, an ability to adapt, move, wear away, mould itself into any shape and find the line of least resistance.
Yet water has such power, persistence, perseverance, as you witness whenever there is heavy rain or flooding, or as a river making its way to the sea.
It is also important to consider that balance does not always mean equal. In the same way as a good loving relationship between a mother and child is balanced, but the mother, as the responsible adult has to be in parental loving control of their relationship. Therefore the relationship is not equal but rather a loving an appropriate balance.
This analogy is useful and can be taken one step further help us understand the relationship that our Authentic Self should have with our Ego.
We have all witnessed or experienced a child asking for sweets or chocolate in a supermarket. The first time this happens we may decided that it is appropriate to let the child eat the sweet. Then the following week the child asks for more and at some point you may have to refuse the request, because we as a parent or guardian understand the implications of too many sweets.
The child may show disapproval by crying, shouting, screaming, rolling on the floor. May try verbal blackmail by saying things like “you don’t love me!”, “other children get sweets; their Mothers must love them better”…..or they may just be suborn, and refuse to move in a test of strength against the parent.
Basically the child is trying to get its own way, or bullying you, or making you feel ‘bad’, challenging or undermining your considered appropriate decision. They have no idea or thought of what may be in their long-term interests or benefit, because, with their immature mind, they cannot yet comprehend their long-term interests and benefits. They have not taken on or understood their own balance, harmony and self-responsibility. They only see and feel their immediate desires and short term aims.
This is why it can be very difficult to be a parent, we have to confront a situation or someone we love but disagree with, then control the situation without confrontation.
The child may mistrust or be fearful and, as is the case in this example, they may think that they will never get sweets again once refused, or the sweets may run out. They may even unknowingly be testing their strength in the relationship, testing the boundaries and testing the feeling of control over their parent.
Testing boundaries is part of their normal development, growth and learning. You could say, it is quite appropriate that they act in that way from time to time. Although when you are the parent standing in a supermarket isle whilst your child is rolling on the floor crying, it can be difficult to keep your balance and calm Authentic Self and see the situation for what it is!
The fact that your child is, intellectually and emotionally immature. It is therefore the parent’s responsibility to act and show maturity so that the child will learn by example and grow naturally with that knowledge, understanding and love.
In the same way the Ego will create and encourage conflict, challenge, doubt and a feeling of imbalance and immaturity in your emotions, personality and feelings. The greater the feeling or sense of imbalance, the greater Ego’s strength becomes. This can be viewed as a vortex of negativity or what I refer to as the ‘Ego circle‘.
The Ego will encourage and develop such an Ego circle. Once you are drawn in it will distract you from asking intelligent, mature questions – the sort of questions you would ask as you strive for a authentic, mature, balanced, harmonious, and loving understanding.
If the Ego has been successful it has overwhelmingly consumed and occupied you, by taking the original authentic first emotion of fear, guilt, anger etc., or whatever emotion is the stronger or weaker at that time, and inflating the emotion out of balance and using it to send you round and round in circles.
It does this so well by disguising, hiding and covering up your Authentic Self, or by simply encouraging your misunderstanding that the Ego is stronger, with the use of self-doubt, guile, guilt, desire, etc.
This in turn increases your misunderstanding of your Authentic Self and its true role, purpose and strength. Remember its just an illusion, it cannot destroy or eliminate the balance or your Authentic Self.
That’s why the Ego has to create a deception, to perform an illusion that convinces you of the non-existence, inadequateness or loss of the authentic self. This of course is not true, but it creates a feeling of doubt, insecurity, imbalance, uncertainly and distrust. Its greatest success would be for you to have no love or confidence or even acutely hate or detest yourself, or even in extreme cases have a totally negative and false self-picture or image of yourself and abilities
It is not easy to recognise times when our authenticity can be sometimes overshadowed by other, more immature motivations.
These are the times when the Ego is at work.
The challenge is to strive for balance and harmony in our lives, whilst persevering at reaching our potential. I believe that is the ‘way of the Universe’.
Trying to maintain the appropriate balance is a unique process, everyone’s Ego and Authentic Self are of course, unique.
Finding the balance and harmony within any emotion or situation you find yourself in is challenging and part of life’s process.
So how do you understand what the appropriate balance should be for you?
You first have to consider what emotion you are trying to balance.
Do that you have to have an idea of your Authentic Self? And your own unique balance and harmony?
This concept of the dynamic forces in our personalities can be seen and understood when examining what Chinese Taoists call the philosophy of Yin and Yang. Have a look at the I Ching section on this website which explains this in greater detail.
It is important to understand that any work that we do on or with the Ego is not in an attempt to destroy or completely eliminate its existence. But rather in an effort to lovingly control, balance and harmonise it, so that it works in perfect Yin Yang balance that helps us reach out full potential. Our ‘Authentic Self’
The Ego adopts the opposite or counter position, and provides a counter force or argument. This works perfectly when the Ego is well balanced and working in harmony, problems occur when this synchronised balance is disrupted or broken.
This normally results in the Ego giving us a feeling that it is too powerful and overpowering to control. The Ego can be bullying, controlling and scheming and can create illusions, all of which block or stagnate our physical and mental energy, our life force or what Taoists refer to as our ‘Qi‘ (pronounced ‘chi‘).
This creates the opposite force of the Ego: weak doubting, indecisive, fearful, and feeling inadequate.
The balance is broken by our failure or misunderstanding to recognise, understand, respect, control and maintain the intricate balance between the these two opposing forces.
The normal situations we will encounter the apparent strength, brashness, aggression, extremeness, immediateness, illusionist ability and seemingly extreme confidence of the Ego which will suppress, cover, block, stagnate or hide the softer, quieter, yielding, innocent, yet equally strong and loving and opposite side of the Ego.
To help you understand how the concept of the ‘Ego circle’ has an impact on our lives, let us first consider the relationship, balance and harmony of what I call the ‘Ego’ and the ‘Authentic Self’ in our personalities.
What are these aspects of self?
Often it can seem extremely complicated and difficult to explain this simply, let alone write it down (could this be the Ego at work?!), but essentially these can be viewed as the equivalent of the Yin and Yang in Chinese philosophy.
I have also observed through my practice that the concept of us having both an Ego and an authentic side is in fact extremely easy to understand. I believe that this is because we all know, albeit perhaps on a deeper subconscious level, that we have an inner goodness and purpose – our Authentic Self, and that it is also easy to recognise times when this authenticity can be sometimes overshadowed by other, more immature motivations – our Ego.
I am not asserting that these are the only terms or the correct words to label these aspects of the natural human ‘condition‘. In fact I will later also look at the some of the other words in common use which may help explain the same phenomena and may help in your personal understanding. For now these are the words that I have developed and use daily and over my years of practice which seem to help in my understanding and the understanding of my patients.
The Ego to which I refer is not the same as the ‘Ego’ defined in Freudian psychology. I use the word Ego as a collective label for what the ‘I Ching’ calls our ‘inferiors‘: fear; anger; resentment; guilt etc., when all or any of those emotions are out of balance (these emotions are not bad per se).
It is important to understand that the Ego is an absolutely vital and indispensable part of what makes us human and whole. It should be understood and embraced, not feared or denied.
Authentic Self is the label I use to explain what the ‘I Ching’ refers to as the superior self or higher self. This can also be called your intuition, inner voice, and gut feeling. Your own personal Authentic Self is unique to you but it is commonly: innocent, soft, yielding, understanding, calm, warm, expansive, positive and full of unconditional love.
So what is the relationship between the Ego and Authentic Self and how does it work?
Ancient Chinese Taoists explained this relationship by teaching and drawing parallels with basic natural phenomena such as ‘the sun shines on one side of the mountain, therefore the other side is in shade‘, or creating analogies using everyday things such as ‘a coin has two sides to make it whole‘. The key message was and remains today, that for anything to exist and be whole, there has to be a counter balance or opposite, which is always moving, interconnected and interacting.
The Ego is the label I use to demonstrate when a person or emotion has moved out of balance. In other words, it describes a person and their emotions or thoughts that have moved out of a Universal balance and harmony and our not borne from our Authentic Self – that which exists on the other side of the coin or the other side of the mountain!
So if we were to use an analogy of a pendulum. If the Authentic Self is gently swaying in the middle, the Ego would be the two extremes. Both of these extremes would be out of balance.
Because the Ego has the ability to morph itself into many shapes and forms it is unwise to concentrate on trying to spot the manifestation of the Ego as a means of avoiding it.
Of course your Ego will miss the attention – it loves the feeling of importance! A good rule to think about is, if it feels complicated, confusing or extreme, the Ego is more than likely involved. If you don’t understand why you acted in a certain way, the Ego is more likely to be involved. If you are not obtaining your authentic loving objectives, the Ego is more likely to be involved.
It is better to focus all your energy and attention on feeling, understanding and practicing being in your Authentic Self. Consider if your actions or thoughts are straightforward, uncomplicated, non-judgmental, honest and loving. Check they are something you can “own”, understand, and rationalise. If not, then the Ego must be involved.
When considering by thoughts feelings and actions I always use a little phase “Where’s the love in this?”
Take heed – when you start this kind of Taoist thinking or self-development work and you begin to get a better understanding and love of your Authentic Self, the Ego feels like it is starting to lose control. This invariably causes internal strife because the Ego perceives that it is under attack and its power is on the wane. In retaliation it will use all of the inferior emotions with a fierce intensity, scared of the consequences, frightened of being exposed, unable to trust in you or the unknown.
The Ego can make you feel like YOU are being attacked, isolated, misunderstood, unloved and rejected. An internal battle has commenced, our habitual reaction is to take up arms and fight, react, strike first and do not show any weakness. This is of course is exactly what the Ego wants as when we are then not acting maturely or authentically the vortex of negativity starts again.
It is extremely important to stop this immensely powerful, frightening experience to enable you to find your Authentic Self with an open and loving heart.
The word “Stop!” is a very important word in controlling the balance and returning the Ego to its correct place.
By clearly saying an internal “Stop – NO!” it reminds you that you are in control, it halts the Ego’s tendency to speed up your thoughts, which if uncontrolled, will take you up to and over your limit and out of balance. By stopping and pausing it gives you the opportunity to mentally step back from the situation and reconnect with your Authentic Self.
If you combine the word “Stop” with the correct breathing and meditation (Focusing), which we will discuss later, controlling the balance between authentic and non-authentic starts to become easier.
Remembering the Taoist concept of ‘wholeness’ will also help you understand that the Universe acts in exactly the same authentic way. When we display un-natural, inauthentic, immature, Ego tendencies, or become brash and full of our own self importance, the Universe will step back and waits patiently for us to return to the correct path and a more balanced place.
When we do, the Universe welcomes us with open arms and continues with us on our journey, it does not pass judgement on our actions or consider getting its own back and making us pay in some misguided karmic judgement.
It is also important to understand the significance of ‘appropriateness’ in this situation. When we start to get a sense of our true authentic nature it is easier to act appropriately in situations.
So, for instance, if you were crossing a road and a bus is bearing down on you, you would not say, “Well, it must be my time to die, I will yield to the Tao!”, but at the same time you do not run out of the way of the bus and then keep on running for 10 miles. You act appropriately to meet the situation. The Ego does not want you to act this way; the Ego loves extremes and pushing you towards and past those extremes, again losing your sense of balance.
But this does not mean that we should ‘give up’ at the first sign of adversity or allow ourselves to be ‘walked over’, or abused. Such non-action is equally inauthentic, inappropriate, unnatural, and is not compatible with our innate self-responsibility of being at one with ourselves and the Tao.
Ironically such non-action is likely to produce negative consequences, thus allowing the Ego to step in and say things like “I told you so! You are not to be trusted!” “You are weak and need me!”
So how do we maintain the correct path, the balance, and course that works with your Authentic Self and the Universe?
To use the sailing analogy again, imagine you are captaining a racing yacht, constantly monitoring the sea, currents, wind and waves, the other competitors, keeping in mind the rules of the competition, but also trying to make the best and fastest progress to win the race. You have to sail your yacht to its limits without capsizing.
When you watch a yacht race you can observe the ‘crew members’ constantly tacking, changing the direction of themselves and the yacht, always ready to make adjustments to their situation. The skill in which your ‘crew’ control themselves and the yacht determines how well they perform in the race.
This is how we should view life, as something we have to keep monitoring, and be ready and happy to make adjustments in our lives and thoughts. Encouraging change, embracing new and exciting situations, all the while adapting to maintain the correct balance!
You can get an understanding and a feeling of how and when the Ego works because it has never once apologised or admitted that it was ever wrong, or acted or advised incorrectly. Even when it obviously has!
If you have had the misfortune to be in a really difficult, shocking or dangerous situation, the Ego will desert you momentarily. This can feel very strange as, in the absence of the Ego, we will act authentically without fear or doubt and we will authentically know the correct course of action. The Ego will then return once the ‘heat’ of the moment or situation has passed, with its judgements, negative comments and expectations that react and bite back fearfully at the situation.
So for example, you may witness a car accident and without thinking or judging you act by getting involved or helping, sometimes even surprising yourself just how well you coped in such awful situation. Then afterwards the Ego re-emerges, making judgements, passing negative comments, etc.
Visualise the interaction between your Ego and your emotions as though you are a captain of your ship, the Ego is the first mate and the emotions (fear, jealousy, anger etc) are the crew. In the past you may have abdicated responsibility, ‘gone missing’ off the bridge of your ship, handing power to the first mate, who grasped the opportunity with both hands. Now it does not want to hand back the role, because it does not trust you to manage yourself.
The Ego does however know that you are the captain (Authentic Self) of the ship, and therefore it is ‘out-ranked’ and can be ordered to leave the bridge. It therefore cunningly must convince you that you are not a ‘fit’ person to captain your own ship. Using all the methods I have listed, it truly believes it can make a better job than you of captaining the ship through life’s stormy seas.
One of the popular courses it plots for you sails round and round in circles. Although this is not constructive or progressive, it does feel safe and, in someway reassuring, because of the habitual nature of the action. In fact you stay exactly where you are, you don’t move, you perceive the dangers around are too great – everyone is untrustworthy and out to get you.
This route is in direct contrast on to the expansive, open, loving nature of our Authentic Self and the Universe, a route that follows the current rather than stagnating in one place.
The view of Taoism is that we are already part of the wholeness. We do not have to ‘work at it’, be forceful, or strong, we are simply ‘there’ part of and supported by nature. We don’t have to do anything, the thrust of Taoism is to undo, let go of the Ego and its fears, anger, judgments etc. so we can reconnect to this place.
Our Authentic Self is, has, and will always be ‘there’ for you, which is in direct opposition to what Ego the wants us to believe. But because part our natural Authentic Self is yielding, the brashness of the Ego can cause it to ‘step back’ or be temporarily lost, or forgotten.
But your Authentic Self never goes away. It is your true nature and is loving, forgiving, compassionate, persistent, adaptable, non-judgemental, robust, trustworthy and reliable. It never goes leaves you, never gives up, will always forgive, because it has never made a judgement about you. It will always be ready to start afresh, regardless of the history of your Ego driven thoughts and actions, without making a comment or holding a grudge.
In fact it is exactly the same as the Universe. Because we are the Universe!
The Universe is within us and we are within the Universe, it is as easy as that!
Do not make the mistake of misunderstanding the softness and yielding nature of the Authentic Self as being deficient, or somehow ‘less than‘. In fact the opposite is true.
The Authentic Self is extremely strong, determined, persevering, and powerful as well as being loving and all encompassing.
One of the situations I regularly encounter in my day to day practice is the tendency of clients to swing violently from one Ego driven reaction directly into another without any calm rational thought, meditation or consideration of the bigger picture or their authentic self.
Almost like a rabbit caught in headlights, highly intelligent people act from their Ego and lose ‘faith’ in the Universe, themselves and their abilities.
They believe that, because they feel ‘trapped’ within a fearful, restrictive and sometimes extremely painful physical and emotional situation, the only method of escape is to do something equally extreme or of course the opposite – nothing at all!
Both are Ego driven reactions which produce inauthentic ways of behaving, and both lead into the negative ‘Ego circle’.
This extreme swinging reaction is usually generated by the Ego physical feelings they are experiencing in their chest and/or tummy and their avoidance of those feelings.
This is what I call the feeling of fear (FOF)
The correct approach is to confront those Ego feelings (FOF) in a calm, balanced and harmonious way, not avoiding them by either extreme action or inaction.
Understanding the ‘Universal way’ and more importantly, that they are not ‘special’ or immune from life’s twists and turns is a vital first step.
Then understanding that there are important life changing lessons to be learned from the situation they are encountering, regardless to how awful the ‘Ego’ feelings are.
The correct approach is to confront those feelings in an authentic, calm and rational way. Learn not to react to the intensely negative feelings (FOF), stay with them until they abate and you can re-contact your authentic self.
Obviously this is a very difficult process and better done gradually when dealing with smaller Ego provoking issues, until the methods are understood and mastered through practice.
I see the process as much like a gentle harmonious swaying of confronting, learning and moving on.
Unfortunately, we invariably only address these Ego issues when a major situation erupts and we feel that we are least equipped and practiced to deal with them.
It is during these turbulent times that we should find solace in the knowledge that, like the strongest bamboo, we have the inner strength to hold firm and grounded whilst flexing to cope with the passage of any passing storm.
An important part of the philosophy of Taoism is to help to explain and understand the Universal concept of balance and harmony.
Although very simple in theory, it can be very easily misunderstood.
One of those misunderstandings is that once you have obtained, or have come close to obtaining, a balance – that’s it, ‘job done‘!
Nothing could be further from the truth!
The correct balance in any given moment is a constantly changing and moving equilibrium. We therefore we have to be ready to be flexible and adaptable and deal with the flow of this change if we are to find the balance in any given life situations.
Understanding change, and the fact that there is nothing more certain in life than change, is another important philosophy of Taoism.
The Ego, with is the Authentic self out of balance, encourages exaggerated self-reliance, stubbornness, confusion, immediacy, feelings of unfairness and conflict and the creation of ‘new problems‘, all because they maintain and increase the imbalance and space it needs to flourish and survive.
The Ego does not understand or trust the twisting, turning road of fate. As a result it will emphasise or exaggerate a perceived problem as proof that the Universe is unfair‘, ‘doesn’t understand you‘, or is ‘out to get you‘.
It will encourage you to see progress as a straight extreme line that can be exactly planned, measured and judged. Something that you can judge on or judged against.
It is in fact extremely judgmental about others and more importantly, about you!
In order to facilitate this, the Ego disguises itself as your ‘friend‘, ‘defender‘ and ‘confidant’, almost as a confidence trickster or con artist would.
The Ego can activate that awful feeling in your chest or tummy feeling of the fear (FOF), which makes all the Ego misunderstanding seem real and very frightening, Which then seem logical to avoid at all costs.
That avoidance sets up a pattern of behaviour and reaction which is very difficult to spot, yet alone stop!
So when you are in your worse Ego state, it gives you the best opportunity to learn and understand the mechanics of how it works for you. This needs calm rational thought, consideration and meditation
